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If I were to write you a poem,
but I won't, because that would be corny
(I'm a down to earth sort of girl and
you're the equivalent sort of guy)

I'd lose the stuff about stars in your eyes,
your hair being like raven's locks or whatever
(why'd you cut it? I'll compare it to a loss.
Your hair is like a loss, because it's mostly gone. There.)

Forget that whole conundrum with forevers and eternities
(why doesn't my spell checker underline 'eternities'?
do we somehow suppose there's more than one?
but then why isn't 'forevers' ok?)

I wouldn't say I'm enchanted with you
nor that I love you from here until somewhere (somewhen?)
(my spell checker is acting up again,
write me some code that will add 'somewhen' to all my checkers, forever)


I'd write you a poem about how I like your work ethic
(I'm a workaholic, dear, it's among the first things I see)
and I'd put down in words that you're NOT
as unreadable as you think
(and then act all secretive and knowing, 'cause no,
I can't read you either. fuck.)

I'd say amazingly awesome things that would make my mother
chase me out of the house and scream I should wash my tongue.
I'd put in that fight about the word 'rationality'
and that thing where we disagree about politics
and about how I hate arguing with you
(but love it because I love arguing. I don't make sense that way.)

I'd put in how you watch the world dispassionately from afar
and how I don't give a damn (I'm immune),
how you're more elegant and well-groomed than I
and it gets humbling at times
and about how you love the autumn and the rain
(I'll love it with you, just give me a blanket
because I get cold easily and it's distracting)


And I wouldn't say too much about you
(was that autumn and rain thing too much?)
because you'd really dislike it if I did.
So I'd write a very secretive sort of poem,
four stanzas not saying much
and then never, ever show it to you.
(because I don't think you'd like it
and it's your gift, so if you don't like it,
I can just make it go away)

169

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Just me having fun because I haven't posted anything to dA in awhile.

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Submitted on
September 15, 2012
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169
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:iconpianocanival:
~Pianocanival Oct 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
This is a pretty cool poem. Or sort-of-poem thingie. :D

I like it flows really well with the train of thought, as such. It feels really complex and compact. It doesn't need to go on and on. It stops where it should. It really feels complete. So, yeah, congratulations ^^.
Reply
:icontheothersarshi:
Thank you :) You probably don't even remember leaving this comment, but I'm finally, finally cleaning up my dA account and I've stumbled across it again. (the first time I stumbled across it not that long after you wrote it)

I'm uncertain about my poetry at the best of times and I'm always happy to know somebody approves of it.

Sorry for not replying earlier. I'd meant to... it didn't work out.
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:iconpianocanival:
~Pianocanival Jan 27, 2013  Professional General Artist
I do remember leaving the comment :D I don't usually leave comments all around the place. Only when I think a certain work deserve it I like to leave one. Also, I still remember the poem. I still think it's pretty cool. So yeah, you deserve that fave :thumbsup:

Perhaps you'll feel more appreciated if your work were more exposed ? Just a random thought... but, I think that if you can find a lot of people to read your poetry, many of them will like it as much (or probably more than) as I do.

Don't worry, I know that feeling ^^.

Cheers.
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:iconimagineapplescruffs:
Mood: Love ~ImagineAppleScruffs Sep 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D This is awesome!!! I love how perfectly droll this is. I love its head-cocking sarcasm and sharp wit and its way of saying something big without saying much at all. This should totally get a DD! :)

:peace:
Reply
:icontheothersarshi:
Thank you :)

I don't generally consider myself a poet, so I gave up on trying to be serious about it ;) I treat it like I do prose, now... a bit of this, a bit of that.
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:iconimagineapplescruffs:
~ImagineAppleScruffs Sep 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)

I understand. I used to write a lot of poetry, but most of them sucked. :D
But I love your poem; poetry doesn't need to be serious. :nod:

:peace:
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